Thursday, October 07, 2010

Secrets of a Cinderella - seven things that could make your housework easy

“Mrs. Joe was a very clean housekeeper, but had an exquisite art of making her cleanliness more uncomfortable and unacceptable than dirt itself.” (Great Expectations). Lesson learned: you can either clean the house like an agitated military dictator or, make it enjoyable, by pirouetting and singing along with the mice and birds around the house as you sweep. Since many women would find the latter hard to do (have noticed how women and mice just don't gel well together!), allow me to share a few secrets and tips that could make the prospect of cleaning your house a less cumbersome and annoying a task:

1. Never underestimate the power of the broom in winning you a groom.

Honest, hard-working Cinderella was richly rewarded for all those years she spent patiently scrubbing dishes and polishing floors. A handsome Prince charming whisked her away from her life of chores to the palace of her dreams. In the Pakistani society, we all know how a sugghar larki, who knows how to brew magical tea and keep the house tip top all the time, is the center of all aunty talk. They cannot wait to get her hooked to the next Mr.Bingley (Pride and Prejudice) in town.

2. “It's all in the attitude - housework is exercise. Slim your way to a clean home!” says Linda Solegato.

When the maid doesn’t show up on a weekend and the house is an absolute mess, take it as a perfect opportunity to do some work out. Instead of going to a fancy yoga class or gym, exercise and energize yourself at home. Believe me, it’s an adrenaline rush. Put on some ragged, old clothes (your Cinderella outfit, I mean) and grab your cleaning companion: the mighty jharoo. It will be your weapon against the army of evil dust bunnies, spinning socks of stink, hanging cobwebs and even help you in vanquishing the dark forces that lurk beneath your bed. House work ain't any less horrifying than a battle from the Lord of the Rings.

3. Lie low.

Never tell your mother you’ve done all the work she asked you to do, especially on Eid. She will happily assign you more work to keep the house extra ‘shiny’ in case some guests arrive unexpectedly who, I might add, have not much to do but keenly observe – with microscopic vision - each and every decoration item and table top in their vicinity while they devour sheer khurma and other delights. That wad of hair you stuffed behind the couch might not go unnoticed…

4. Happy mom = less work expected

“Everybody wants to save the world before bedtime but no one is willing to help mom with the night’s dishes,” I read in the Reader’s Digest once. You are bound to become mum’s favourite kid if you start helping out with the night's dishes and, as a result, be assigned less work in the future . After all, despite all the love you show your mum, she is bound to say: “I like hugs and I like kisses, but what I really love is help with the dishes!”

5. Humor

You need to make housework fun and humorous. If you haven’t been able to get house into shape before the all-important guests arrive, learn from Phyllis Diller’s wisdom: “If your house is a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.”

6. Improvisation

“The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes,” said the Queen of detective fiction, Agatha Christie. Just imagine… doing all your brain storming while scrubbing away in the kitchen, eagerly relating possible story ideas to an assembled armada of attentive glasses, greasy pots and a leaning tower of dishes. Who knows? You might just end up becoming the next J.K Rowling!

7. Think win/win

Who likes dirty dishes? But the next time you see the sink overflowing with them, just bring this thought to mind, “Thank God for dirty dishes, they have a tale to tell; while others may be going hungry, we're eating very well."


Ali said...

Abeer, I am impressed, you look very talented.
Keep up the good work (Y).

Sammy said...

Abeer, I loved it!

I loved the opening sentence, and then you peppered the whole post with such apt quotations that I'm bound to say I loved the whole thing.

Girl, this blog just went two spots higher on my list of top ones to follow!

Cookie said...

Thank you Sammy, my boy! :) me is flattered. Glad you enjoyed it. Two spots higher?! Wow. Sweet man. Will have to double pray now that you (inshAllah) get the thing you have been working so hard for!